Boo, fucking, hoo. There are no first descents left in Utah. Well fortunately for you that is far from true and since Skier Boyz is an equal opportunity sender, the home office has prepared this easy to use guide. So for those of you who believe an FD is involves ropes, ice daggers, awful snow, hateful approach, and shit yourself exposure, fear not. After extensive interviews and countless hours of research, our team of unpaid interns have prepared a list of some shots cerca de SLC that you can be the 1st to ski. How do we know these are virgins, you ask.? SLC has no creativity.
Several years of bumming around the Great Basin brought me to many remote nooks of the state(s). I always kept my eyes wide open all the time. I saw things. I filed things. Since the odds of me living in the Utahs again are rare, the secrets can be unveiled. These runs have been in the back pocket just waiting for a rainy (inversion) day. These shots need to get skied first by the Boyz. Warning: The approach may be a bit more daunting than Tetris or Shanga-whogivesadamn. Our interns assure me that these runs are all worthy. If the descriptions leave you with more questions than answers, please file a claim with the temp agency and through the magic of corporate pie charts and matrices, an intern will be assigned to your case.
1. Black Crook: This run has haunted my dreams for years. It is a carbon copy of Superior's silhouette but only about 2,000 vert. In the middle of no where. Get the Gazetteer. It's about 50 miles West of Provo in the Sheeprock Mts. Rough approach, unreal location
2. Jefferson Davis: Shame on all of you for neglecting Great Basin National Park. Great skiing. Give them a call before you show up (about 4 hours from SLC) to check road conditions. You want the road to be open at least half way. The "gem" is Wheeler, but any jackass can summit that as is evidenced by the jackass performing a controlled descent using a yellow Coleman tent stake. The "gem" will get you above 13 but your pulse will hover around 70. Lame. You want Jefferson Davis. Go there. Ski it.
3. North Tent Mountain: Found this cirque one July while lost on an Mt. Bike ride. It looked liked someone had taken Wolverine Cirque and ironed it out and made every chute face North. Seriously. Its in the Wasatch Plateau. You'll need a snow machine, but if you put in the effort it will blow your mind. Above Morini,
4. Vickory Mountain: This range was my pet peeve my last year in the Utah. Not only is it a UFO hot spot, but the skiing looks nasty. Its in the Stansbury Mountains. You remember, that place we skied the Twins and got a Christmas Tree.. Gremmy and a Leatherman. Well, this peak is bit South of that, You want the dirt road over Clover Springs Pass. Get out the Gazeteer. I gave you all the map of the range. It's time you use used it.
5. The Tushars. Come 'on. Are you kidding me? This range has unlimited potential. But if you need specific instructions..... Alright, who has been there with me that still is in Utah? I gave a BT the TB book. Go to the resort. It is a lodge on top resort ala King Ridge (NH) or Blue Mt (PA). ITs been closed for a spell. Skin up that gay ass chair. Respect gets respect. Keep skinning to the peak on your left (the Great White Whale). Summit it. Look to the NE. Yeah. That's the 3,000 foot cooler we're talking about. It's big. It goes on forever. Ski it.
Get out there. Keep your eyes open. Don't let the book define your skiing experience. A few years back, A. McL. was looking to update the C.G. and he was interested in what I had to say. Why? Because I used the book as a lauching pad and expanded it. Don't let your winter be defined by black and white. Go get it.
The Uncle
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