Wednesday, November 30, 2011

River Season Redux

"There is great vigour in the waters that come down from the snows of the Misty Mountains"

As the snowpack flowed forth from the various mountain ranges of the West, the Skier Boyz hung up their puffys and touring flannels as they descended into the towering canyons of the intermountain west's legendary river corridors. In their second season attempting to diversify their portfolios, the Boyz took a more or less educated stab at the activity commonly known as "river running", though perhaps it looked a bit more like drinking case after case of beer in the hot sun while sitting on boats of varying type, and most certainly, quality. As usual, a prestigious and oh-so-generous local Academy provided ample resources in this endeavor and we are, of course, eternally grateful. The Boyz were spread far and wide across these adventures this year, with some familiar faces making noteworthy, but brief appearances, and others quite deep in the mix. However, a number of new faces, many of them elegantly bearded or scantily clad, appeared amongst the crew this season. Some say they come from a mountainless and desolate place far to the East called Missery. Others suspect they are a rival ski gang attempting to infiltrate the mighty SB. Still others believe they have emerged from the seedy, ironic world of hipsterdom, and have forged a strange and unholy alliance with members of this beloved, and similarly elitist, ski organization......So goes the endlessly circulating rumor and increasingly mysterious lore of Skier Boyz.

Some exceptionally descriptive and accurate portrayals of these gentlemen appear below....

GJBT, aka "the Barnacle"
"Gee-Jay is the Name, Crystalz is the Game, Boi"

Laser, aka "Junior",
aka "Geico Caveman"
aka "Bronze River God"

Bobby, aka "Drunk Bobby" aka
aka "Fuck You, and Your Organic Brautwurst"

Brett, aka"Rossetta Stone", aka "Bip" aka "Who is That Fucking Hipster?"

Some long overdue highlights from an amazing summer on the water....once again i must thank the Academy for making this all possible. Enjoy!

The Owyhee


Explaining punk rock to Paco, an amazing firelight rant from Drunk Bobby, Tilt malt liquor and burnt panckakes for breakfast, Laser's Big Top Wind Circus, an ill-fated mushroom hunt, and the debut of the Academy River Trailer.


Bobby's Duff Beer Hat

note bobby double-fisting his approxamately 13th and 14th beers

Lil' cutie pie just couldn't go the distance

forward recon mission of the Chancellor

Safe Sandy representz

Squintin' at them there rapids

Boats of varying size and quality

old prospector cabin at our campsite

The Colorado and Dolores


Some dear friends from Missouri, the Inescapable Eddy from Hell, The last voyage of Bip's veggie truck, an entire river rig loaded into the back of a Mazda hatchback, and an incredible shuttle through the La Sals back into CO (thanks to the Chancellor and the Academy)


Larry the Lobster


For those about to rock....

Heater gettin' biz on the oars

The Green A, Jones Hole Creek, and Fish N' Bikes


Ryan Van Buren, witnessing the explosive power of a full scale dam release at Flaming Gorge, Sonic Chili Fries, a Brittany Spears themed river log, slaying trout after trout after beautiful trout, Crane Fly Larva, closing down the Wells Club with Dody, playing dice in the hallway of Second Nature Uinta's headquarters, a taco'd bike wheel, squatting houses while we drink beer and wait for the rain to stop, and, most importantly, the introduction of Bud Light Lime.


"The MVP" (gee jay's mini-cooler)

flaming gorge dam at full throttle

Brittany Spears campsite


Beautiful Jones Hole Brown+ Handsome Angler

The Hole

The MVP dont care, MVP doesn't give a shit!

La Nina left us too much snow, all the fishing water in the Uintas was blown out. Might as well take some pictures with our useless rods anyway right?

A love affair is born

The San-diest of Juans


An Unexpected Party, down and out in Mexican Hat, A dead body in the river, Deon's canoe, the Heady Shroud, the return of the Darkhorse (and subsequently a budding romance), a cowboy swingin' steaks, and the Rise of Bud Light Lime!



The Barnacle in all his Glory!

Aye Aye Daddy Cat!

Captain Murtaugh


a long awaited visit from two champion bike tourers, a shaggy muppet name Geoff Demitz, Marcus Cline telling us the scariest waterfall iv'e ever seen in my life is Class 3, WATCHING A GOLDEN EAGLE TAKE OUT A GREBE IN FLIGHT!, and Alisha Waller sticking her arm elbow deep down the throat of said avian casualty.


it's a tie between the Grebe and Geoff


Dylan, determined to beat everyone in how much time his paddle spends in the water

El Beardo!

Get it Sheesh!

Till next season....

-Rossetta Stone

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